Normal sexual development in children aged 5-9
Normal sexual development between age five to nine means most children will:
- Socialise with their own sex and tend to exclude the other
- Be aware that sexuality can be a tricky topic for some adults, and may ask less questions
- Begin to understand that intercourse occurs apart from making a baby
- Find information about sex from friends and the media
- May engage in sexual exploration with the same sex
- Develop a stronger identity in terms of gender and body image
A concern you may have is that giving your child the facts about sex at this age will take away their innocence, the qualities of wonder and naivety children have. Researchers argue against this however, pointing out that children’s understanding is limited regardless of how much information they are given.
There is a large gap between child and adult reasoning and comprehension. This gap protects young children’s innocence. Although you give them information on sex and sexual matters, they do not understand or act on it in the way adults do.
While our replies to children’s questions are important, they are only part of how we influence them. If you are embarrassed, ignore or delay answering a question your child will quickly conclude that this is a topic that makes Mum or Dad uneasy. Children may think that the topic is just taboo – unmentionable. They may decide to find less reliable sources of information about sexuality such as their friends.
Non-verbal cues – body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, will show children that parents are uncomfortable. If this is how you feel it is best to tell them you are uncomfortable but you are pleased they asked the question, it is important and you are happy to discuss it. You could say that you would rather they asked you than their friends, and if you don’t know the answer you will find out for them.
