I don’t want you to talk about sex: ten-year-old
Your 10-year-old son (or 11 or 12-year-old son or daughter) has never asked you any questions about sex.
You may assume that they know all they need to know at their age, or they may have told you that “I already know all about it.”
Sometimes a child may resist their parents efforts to talk about puberty and sexuality. They may protest and walk out of the room when you raise the subject.
What can you do in this situation? A good first step is to ask yourself why they are behaving this way. It could be they are embarrassed, or they think they should already know the answers. They may know a little and think they know a lot. Or your past reactions may have taught them not to ask.
Here are some suggestions of things you could do.
Use incidents on TV shows to start discussions about relationships and sexuality. Soaps and sitcoms are scripted with many aspects of relationships, and sexuality topics are frequent. You could ask, “How do you feel about what that person did? What might happen because of their choice?” This gives the message that there are choices in sexual situations and that people should think about the choices they make.
Talk about sexuality with another adult while your child is present. For example, “Have you seen the news report about…?” The message to your son or daughter is that it is okay to talk about sex in this family.
Ask your preteen to help you explain something to a younger child. For example, ask your 11-year-old son to help you talk to his eight-year-old brother about his aunt’s pregnancy. This will give the 11-year-old a face-saving reason for listening to what you have to say. The younger brother is likely to ask questions the 11-year-old also wants to have answered.
